I used to win a lot of prizes. Tickets on the radio. Drawings and raffles. I don’t so much anymore. I don’t know if I used up my luck karma or not. Maybe I just stopped believing I was lucky, maybe that’s the whole trick of it.
I do not win the lotto. (At least, I haven’t yet.) But most people don’t. No one won tonight! Maybe I’ll win Tuesday. I don’t usually look for close parking, because I don’t expect to find it. I don’t enter a lot of contests anymore. I just don’t expect much.
The one way I’m really expecting a lucky miracle, I guess, is in finding a partner. I’m not really doing much in the way of putting myself “out there.” It’s so tiresome and seems to fruitless. No one sets me up with anyone. I never go to bars except to dance, and I never meet anyone there. I should learn from Zorro Smitty, who will ask someone to coffee after he sees them in a store. Bold, and effective. Thing is, I just don’t see them. I really, really don’t. Maybe I need to move to a hip part of a town, or maybe I need my eyes adjusted. The only men who really make eyes at me are at least twenty years older or ten years younger (and I’m 33, so ten years younger is a bit of a stretch). Everything I’ve done online has caught hagfish. I think I’m done with online. Until the next time I get bored to tears.
So I’m hoping to stumble onto someone. To trip over a him. I thought I did, and then he was gay. I have the wrong kind of tits for that one. I still have a crush on him. Then I thought I did again recently, and he was my friend’s boyfriend. Well, she caught a good one. Even if they broke up, though, I don’t touch someone else’s ex. It’s not how I roll.
It’s a good thing I can stand my own company, because it’s been forever since I’ve gotten lucky. Aw man.