Committing to this lifestyle

radar detector

My new laser-radar detector.

I’m a little ashamed of myself. I have committing to a life of speeding. I don’t speed constantly. When I have nowhere to be, I keep it consistently at 65. Well, sometimes 70. It’s when I have someplace to be that I push it to 75. Rarely higher than that. But my fear of the po-po has driven me to this newest purchase: the radar detector that also has laser detection, and radar detector detector detection. That is, the scanner the 5-0 use to detect radar detectors? It can sniff that out, too.

Why does this bother me? I mean, it’s not illegal to own one in California. It’s just that it means I’m not slowing down. If I didn’t speed, there’d be no speed trap, as my mom’s friend’s soon-to-be son-in-law, the dickish Dudley DoRight CHiP says. He’s right. I should just slow down.

Should, but won’t today. Instead, I’m evolving in my speeding lifestyle. I see all these people slowing down before I see a cop a minute later. I want to do that! I want to know where they are. I want to smell the lions waiting for the gazelles.

We’ll see if this pays off. I have both bad and good feelings about this. Mixed? I have mixed feelings about this.

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2 comments

  1. becca

    My uncle Len had a fuzz buster…. he also liked to back down freeways when he missed the exit…. ah Len, RIP buddy, the cancer may have taken you in the end, but the roads are a safer place.

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