Purse Maven and Seer go seeking the Makeup Pixie

poor poster child

Not good when the poster child has impetigo.

So the day started with me coming into work to get a second opinion on my unsatisfying manicure. It’s a color I’ve had for a long time but never worn out, called Dark Room. I thought it looked Swamp Thing.  One coworker was nice but said it was a don’t. Purse Maven said it looked like over-washed black clothes. I wanted to repaint them right then and there. It got the bug in me to buy new colors. Purse Maven and me decided to go shopping for makeup that very evening.

Here is the offending manicure and polish. It’s an incredibly dark green, so dark it’s almost black. It’s kind of gross. I’ll give it to Miss Silver Squid. She also fell for it when she saw it in the bottle, and she wears very dark colors as well. It just doesn’t work for me as a lifestyle, this Dark Room doesn’t.

failed manicure

This is ugly polish, innit?

dark room nail polish

What was I thinking when I bought this?

One of the best things about the makeup store we go to is the Makeup Pixie that can sometimes be found there. I thought maybe my manicure sacrifice would be enough to invoke him. He is wee, and lithe, and merry, and half Puerto Rican, and covered in a shitload of slap and glitter. He is the Best Thing Going at the Mall, I tell you. He will make you feel fierce and beautiful and deadly in suburbia. And he’ll make you very pretty, despite his own copious use of blush.

He was also noticeably absent, and the halls were barren of camp and joy. Only the straight-laced, smiley-faced girls were there to help. The grumpy manager with Bell’s Palsy I like was also missing.

So, Purse Maven and I do not shop the same. I say, “Yes,” and she says, “I don’t know.” She hems and haws and I throw shit in my basket.

purse mavens bag

What Purse Maven bought at the store.

Purse Maven spent money like a normal human being. She was there to try to get points to get to the next level. She has someone else to share finances with, and a dog to take care of. She was reasonable.

seers bag

What Seer bought at the store.

Seer, on the other hand, was unreasonable. I can eat cereal at the end of the month if I feel like it, so I just spend shit. I spent four times what Purse Maven spent. I got two deluxe gifts and gave her one.

What did I get? A lot of bullshit. Enough to get four free gifts. Plus three nail polishes! A flat brown, a beautiful iridescent teal, and a deep blue that doesn’t photograph well. It’s a great quality polish by Tarina Tarantino. I haven’t used such good quality polish in so long, y’all, I forgot what it was like! How much pigment it has! How it goes on like half and half. How two coats really will do it. It was worth the $14. I will use the whole bottle.

So now I have a satisfying manicure that looks worse in pictures than the one above, because it’s all over my cuticles, too, but I am a happy little Seer. The day worked out okay after all. My nails came out ahead.



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