Nostalgia: slow jamz

What’s your favorite slow jam? I mean from back in the day. I’ve been making everyone in my life listen to Keith Sweat lately. But just one song and one song only: “Twisted.” They all have the same response, that “Nobody” is better. I want you to tell me which is better, “Twisted” or “Nobody.” Also included, some Jodeci (are they really crackheads?) and Babyface.

The first thing that must be addressed is that Keith Sweat has his own website called The Sweat Hotel. Smooth, Keith. Don’t click here unless you want to hear a commercial immediately. Then be transported to a land where you will sweat. A land of waves and pencil-thin mustaches, à la John Waters.

I cannot embed the Keith Sweat videos. They are here as links anyways, because I feel that strongly about Keith Sweat right now. If he were performing at a casino nearby, I would get Fiesta Cat to go with me. I would wear my sequined brown dress in an attempt to get Keith’s attention. I want his autographed photo. I would put it on my desk at work. I want it to say, “Seer, I am TWISTED OVER YOU. NOBODY MAKES ME SWEAT like you, Baby! Keith.”

I should find an address and send five dollars American to him and a photo of my ass. He’d probably do it for the lulz.

Keith Sweat, “Nobody” (1996)

You’ll be singing this about everything all day. “Who can load the printer like me, baby? NOBODY. ON, ON, ON AND ON-ONNN.”

Keith Sweat, “Twisted” (1996)

This video? EPIC. Commissioners! Assassins! Keith is in anguish. He emotes.

Jodeci, “Forever My Lady” (1991)

Breeding is so romantic.

Babyface, “When Can I See You Again?” (1994)

Because no list of romantic songs is complete without a borderline abusive/stalker song.

R. Kelly, “Bump’N’Grind” (1994)

Can you forget what R. Kelly is long enough to sing the hook? Because we all know what he doesn’t see nothing wrong with.

Need to get all that out your mind? POW!

Brandy and Monica, “The Boy is Mine” (1998)

He is pretty hot. I love this song. It is so singable. But y’all can have his ass (after I’m through with him).



  1. Purse Maven

    I am all over the Boyz II Men “II” album. And “Nobody” is better!! The “Twisted” video wasn’t as epic as R Kelly’s “Down Low” video, but it had an element of that. But “Nobody” is a better jam. Athena Cage makes that song. I always liked her make up in that video, that dark lipstick. Very 1996. And, as you pointed out, the “on on on and on on” is the best part of that song.
    I had “slow jam” day in my cube weeks ago, and Keith was at the forefront of it, as were the aforementioned Boyz II Men, LL Cool J (hope you didn’t hear the orgasmic screeching from “Doin’ It” coming from my cube) , Soul for Real (my candy raaain), and Heavy D’s “Nothin’ But Love” though that’s not the slowest jam. I just love the Noxema Girl.

  2. Pingback: What’s your slightly painful short-term goal? Do you have one, even? | Occipital Hazard

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