Nostalgia: from the Church of Latter Day Saints

That’s such a creepy title, “Church of Latter Day Saints.” “Church of Present Day Prophets.” “Temple of Neo-Oracles.” I shouldn’t make fun of the Mormons. They do enough damage to themselves. You don’t believe me? Watch these PSAs and get back to me. Also, I can’t find my favorite, which is “Nobody knows how I feel around here!” That was the cream, that one. Oh well.

He Told the Truth!

He broke your goddamned window, Mr. Robinson. You better tan his behind.

Never Ever Tell a Lie

Ha ha, that one kid’s a stupid asshole.

Share a Little Bit of Yourself

That sounds a little dirty. I’m a terrible person, aren’t I?

Power [Failure*]

How many damn kids do they have? And TALKING? This would make my family shoot each other. I think we would have all either had walkmans with batteries or curled up individually with books. My father would have passed out drunk in the corner. The lights went out and he went out with them.

*I hate the word “outage,” although, etymologically, it’s been around for a long time. The phrase is “power failure.” There’s no such thing as a “power innage.” It’s a power failure. The power goes out, and it fails.

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