Do you sing little ditties? “Fish is for dinner! Sea bass, sea bass!” I do, when I’m happy and comfortable enough. I have a few regular tunes that I set the majority of my songs to. “Shoes, Shoes, Shoes,” an old local Men’s Wearhouse commercial is my favorite. I remember all the lyrics.
Shoes, shoes, shoes,
Everybody’s gotta have shoes!
But if they look too cheap or they hurt your feet
Chances are you’re gonna get the blues.
Catchy, no? So catchy, I’ve caught it for twenty-five years. You ever meet me, I’ll sing it for you and it’ll be real anticlimactic and weird, and everyone will stare into their drinks for a little while, trying to figure out what to say next. (I actually kind of love those moments, because I’m a weirdo.) Today’s nostalgia clip is another tune I set a lot of my songs to. It’s from a show I used to watch that Judge said I was too old to watch. Judge lives in a House of Rules, which is strange. He wants to be a rebel, but just isn’t. He can only read one book at a time. He can’t see a movie unless he’s read the book first. He can’t see the movies out of order; he must see the first one before the sequel. Maybe he has rules so he can break them. But then he feels bad about it. I just live in gentle, slothful anarchy. A world of whatever, man. It’s no wonder I was such a pothead.
Judge, Judge, Judge,
Lives in rigid world.
A world of silly, made up rules,
The mixed up crazy fool!
See? I use this tune all the time.