I don’t have anyone here to take a photo of me wearing it, and I am wearing it without blocking it. I’m wearing it right now. It’s warm and very soft. This yarn is a dream. So I’ll get someone to take a picture of me wearing it next week.
My seams get a B-. You can tell where the leaf cuts off on the stem. I’m only pointing it out to you. I’ve gotten where I don’t really point out my mistakes to people who admire my knitting anymore. I just say thanks. But here I will. That’s some kind of progress. I’ll take what I can get when it comes to that. Let’s look more closely at what I did wrong at what I did right, shall we?
See? There’s a floating leaf. I also jacked up the boarder a bit. I don’t really care all that much. Only enough to say something here. I’m kinda pleased that the branch on this arm is in line. That’s a solid B as far as I’m concerned. I know I’m not going to be finishing sweaters for anyone else anytime soon, but good job, Seer, on that account. The knitting itself is decent here. Nothing outstanding, but nothing terrible, either.
Yeah, nothing lines up here. This seam is a C. But the seam itself is a good seam, which is a B. I also had to account for the fact that I didn’t decrease properly in the knitting (C-), and the fact that I did that well in the seaming is an A-. On the whole, the finishing is a B-. It’s also a bit lumpy because I didn’t do the intarsia the proper way of using separate yarns for each section. Instead, I carried the yarns across the back so I wouldn’t have to reattach them.
This is the back of the birds section (C). Oh, intarsia is pronounced “in-TAR-zhah,” at least in the States. See what I mean? I carried the yarns across the back the whole time. They’re all criss-crossed because I didn’t want long “floats.” A float is when the yarn drapes across for an inch or so and then you catch your finger on it when you put on the garment, or it wears when you put the thing on and of and it tears. You’re not supposed to do intarsia this way. This is cheating. I am a cheat. You hear me? I, Seer, am a cheat at intarsia. And I’d do it again. I’m not sorry or remorseful for what I’ve done and the chaos I’ve created. I cheated, and I cheated neatly. Why aren’t you supposed to? It makes for a way thicker fabric that has less give, and is super bulky, and can tear along the floats, and is ugly on the back. Instead you’re supposed to use a separate piece of yarn for each picture. Fuck that at this stage of my intarsia.
I don’t know if I’ll keep this raw edge. It looks a lot like an orifice. That kind of bothers me. Maybe I’ll put some applied i-cord around it. Now that I’ve put the idea in your head, it does look like an orifice, doesn’t it? Vadgey. And it rolls. I don’t like rolls in my knitting. They remind me of intestines for some reason. Prolaspey.
That’s the deconstruction of my constructed garment. On the whole, with some subjective analysis, I’m giving it a B. (The Romanian judge is difficult and gives it a D-, and the American judge sucks my cock and gives me an A on everything I do, so those two grades are thrown out.) I could have woven in more yarn while I was knitting. I could have seamed more carefully, but I just wanted to be done with it. But I’m very pleased with my intarsia, and everyone else who’s seen it thinks it’s incredible. I’m just a harsh critic of my own creation.