I’ve been eating kitchari all week. Kitchari and sweets. See, it’s the week after Halloween, and I did end up going to someone’s house for a Halloween party. As I was leaving, they ended up dumping all their leftover candy on me. It was heavy on these nasty, white-chocolate-dyed-orange KitKats. I should bring these to work, I thought. I’ll never eat these nasty pieces of shit. Look at them! See how disgusting they are?
It looks gross. It tastes grody. I don’t care for white chocolate at all. Orange chocolate, even less. I think it tastes like candle wax, and not in a good way. And I think they’re highly addictive. I eat one and then eat another. I ate five in a row, and didn’t enjoy them at all.
Eating candy at the same time has meant the kitchari hasn’t really been cleansing me that efficiently. I haven’t been making big poos at all. Well, no, that’s not true. They’re clean and big, but they’re not the kitchari poos I expected. I’m not pooing from the top of my head, as it were.
But ghee, ghee makes a huge difference in kitchari, let me tell you! It makes it so much more delicious. It makes it nutty and rich and smooth. It’s so much better than when you use olive oil. I want to experiment now with ghee in all of my cooking. The ghee I bought is made by kooks who only make it on the waxing and full moons. Huh. Anyways, it’s fucking delicious. I caught myself taking a little spoonful of it the other night, pretending I might need it because I might have lung (too much prana vayu–a kind if energy–at your heart chakra), even though I know I don’t.
Lung symptoms include feeling spacey, cranky, irritable, ungrounded, sleepless, excitable, manic, wound up–I don’t have that. I just wanted to eat the ghee. Oh, you can cure lung by getting sleep, and eating warm, moist, fatty, salty foods, foods that ground you. Like stew and french fries. Too much yoga or meditation can give you lung. Or too much flying in an airplane. I’m losing you, I know I am. I don’t believe in all of any system, including Ayurveda. I only believe in the stuff that’s happened to me. Kind of like my car breaking down, I only know about my personal experience. I’ve gotten lung before, so I trust that it happens.
As for eating ghee, I used to eat butter when I was a wee Seer, so I can understand eating refined butter now. It’s better tasting by far, it just has a weird consistency. Kinda grainy.
I also haven’t been to yoga for two and a half weeks, so that probably has to do with my not feeling cleansed. I’ve just been so tired on the Kayoed. It keeps me up and then keeps me asleep; I have insomnia for a couple of hours and then sleep for ten to twelve. I’m a bit of a mess. I hope I either get used to it or really, really don’t so I can try something else (ugh).
My goal is to go to bed early, to go to yoga tomorrow and to not eat any candy in the middle of the night. We’ll see if that’s realistic.