So much jive, man

Oh boy! Nothing beats being on the phone for an hour-long meeting–except being on the phone for a two-hour meeting! Right after an hour-long meeting! Yeah, boy! At least today, the meetings were a little shorter–the first was about forty minutes and the second was an hour and a half.

I can’t believe it took me nearly two years to figure out I should work from home on Wednesdays. I’m really a genius. Did I ever tell you they called my Pops “Little J” in the Army? “Little J” stood for “Little Genius.” No lie. We still don’t know who the biggest joke was on.

It has also come to my attention that no one in the department that has to do with publicity knows anyone in my department’s name. They almost know our names, but they don’t quite. They’ll call someone they did a project with Tim when his name is Ted. They’ll call me someone else’s name who works in my department and has curly red hair. She’s white. She doesn’t look like me, sound like me, act like me, or do the same job. Her cube is just near mine. It’s weird. Especially since these are the people responsible for communicating our message to the world.

All this gum-flappin’ is really counter-productive. We should be at our desks, or looking at eBay, or at lunch eating delicacies, man. Really, meetings are such a waste of time. Ugh.

When I run the world, I’m getting rid of all meetings that do not involve delectable snacks for all participants and that run longer than a half and hour. Time wasters, lonely people, controlling bitches, saboteurs, nosy bastards, and over-delegators, take note!

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