Now that’s what I call an efficient use of dreamtime

I work from home on Wednesdays. Sweet, right? And I was totally late for a meeting that I call in for at eleven because I overslept. (It happens more often than I’d care to admit. Sometimes I forget because I’m doing important work, like making breakfast or a quadruple-shot latte, or running to the toilet, or taking a highly-caffeinated shit.) But while I was oversleeping I was in a really awesome place.

I dreamt that I was watching Fry from “Futurama” get a beast from a tarot deck that was called something like Opportunity, and that his life was going to be incredible from that point forward. It was somewhat like an ostrich and somewhat like the Dodo from that old Looney Tunes cartoon with Porky Pig in Africa. (Man, I wish I could find that cartoon online.) I think my subconscious got it from here, which is all kinds of awesome.


Aren't Goya's cats the best? Menacing, looking out of the darkness? Check them out in his portraits. They always add a hint of the sinister.

I was watching him ride it around and be happy while I was cuddling with a friend’s husband who is really attractive. She was watching and a little bit jealous. Sorry, friend! He was all kissing the back of my neck. It was nice.

Then me, Fry, the beast, and Conan O’Brien had to save some people from Björk robots that looked a lot like the cover of her album “Volta” (just was looking at this yesterday). The robots had taken over a stage and were going crazy. We defeated them with kung-fu (someone I know is going for a black belt). The robots were no match for our skills.

This, this is what should be happening when I’m asleep. It should be fun, weird, sexual, and action-packed. Not creepy and unsettling. Not boring and stupid. I demand more of these dreams from myself.


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