I know, I’ve been absent for a week now! Man alive. A lot happened in the past week. But the most important thing: I am no longer working. I am free.
No longer do I enter the arena every day with someone who feels that due to kanly she is owed a battle with me and who would like to gut me like Feyd-Rautha wanted to draw Atreides blood. I have tried to bend like a reed in the wind. I have tried to look back from the places that they dared not look. I have tried using my weirding ways. They weren’t having it. What was the kanly over? We both competed for the same job, and then I got it and she didn’t. Then two years later, she became my boss! Good times. But you know what? It’s not my problem anymore.
None of it is my problem anymore. I am free. There are only two things that I have immediate feelings over.
I have a good deal of financial fear. Yeah, I’m worried about spending the summer without the income. I still have the bills. Unemployment isn’t that much. I have a lot of people who can throw me some under the table, and I can temp and shit like that. Gonna try hard as hell to leave the 401K alone. It might be the only 401K I ever have! And I’ll get punished so much for taking money out now. It’s only fear that drives me to think I have to do this. I can survive. I only have to make it until the end of August. It’s the beginning of April now. That’s four or five months of bills. I can do this. I can live. My needs will be met. My needs have always been met. I have never died of hunger. I have yet to be homeless. I will be okay.
I have a great deal of sorrow for the people I am leaving behind. I felt this way last time, too. I left today and it was hard on them. I was lighter, but I felt like my yoke was put on their shoulders. Their eyes were dimmer. It wasn’t good for them.
So the service I can do for them is a bit of mischief. It isn’t necessarily principled. But I will tell some stories of the place I left. I will try not to talk too much shit. I will try to keep it light-hearted and gentle. After all, I got out the hard-core shit when I had my exit interview with HR today, and told them that there was an electrical fire in the basement, and maybe you should take a look at that, instead of rearranging the pictures in the living room and getting new curtain valances and bed skirts and pillow shams and accent tables and the other weird-ass decorative shit I used to take orders for over the phone when I worked at JC Penny catalog on the credit card. Yeah, that was one of my many jobs. I’ve done a lot of shit for money before. People used to get so pissed at me over the phone when they couldn’t use their Sears cards. Hey genius, it’s JC Penny. And I can attest to the fact that people actually buy “decorator” tables that can’t support anything but a vase of flowers, and the glass tops for them, and the tablecloths with the ruffles. I don’t know why. I don’t know their lives. Maybe their husbands have threatened divorce unless they class the place up. Maybe someone gave them flowers and they need someplace to put them and every other flat surface is covered with shit because they are hoarders. Maybe they would like to display a pile of human skulls to keep the neighborhood children out of the yard, and this table seems the exact size and height to fit in the window.
So the mischief. Expect some. I will try to keep it interesting for those not from our world. And for those from our world, I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell Goose and Bunny or anyone else that I mention that I’m talking about them. That’s just too mean. They either can’t or won’t help what they are. Let’s not make that more painful for them. It must be hard enough for them to simply exist.
Immortal Technique– “Freedom of Speech” (2003)