Are you ready for some wingnut?

Hey, so I saw this wingnut–er, co-prophet–giving a really catty review of the art in the Denver International Airport and I was like, yes, where have you been all my life, I fucking hate that motherfucking airport! Seriously, it’s like me and the Third Eagle of the Apocalypse went to the same high school or something! He’s all about how there are all these hidden phalluses in the murals, and I’m all about how I hate getting stuck in there because of weather, and he’s like, yeah, and there are prophecies in there from Satan about the Tribulation, and I’m all, totally, and if it’s not snow in the winter, it’s thunderstorms in the summer, and he’s all right, and the TCBY is always closed, and I’m like, ARE YOU INSIDE MY HEAD? And he’s all, no, that’s where the Holy Spirit lives! And we laugh and laugh and laugh. And then we go get mani/pedis and complain about teenagers. I have to sneak taking my medication, though, because I won’t be “raptured” if I take my medication. There’s something in Numbers about taking it. I didn’t get quite what he was saying.

Anyways: want to hear it? You so do. It’s so fucking worth the time you put in.

There are two parts before this (he’s got a very active imagination–er, he is a very knowing prophet), and then people started telling him about all this shit they saw, too! And these two gems were born. You can really start with either one.

Sex and Satanism in the Denver Airport Murals

Phallic Symbols at Denver International Airport

I luff him. William Tapley, don’t ever stop. If I get his book, I will tell you all about it. I might just! I really got the Essene Scrolls that the All-In-One Dr. Brommer’s soap talks about! They were predictably crazy. I also wrote to Pueblo, Colorado for information from the government when I was little. So I might just. I might just.

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2 comments

  1. Pingback: Airtight reasoning: a woman cannot be president « Occipital Hazard
  2. Pingback: I am the Prophet of the Spelling Test | Occipital Hazard

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